it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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