She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
