Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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