no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
