Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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