they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
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My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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