Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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