I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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