I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
