OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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