They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize