I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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