theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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