So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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