she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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