So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
