1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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