Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
