Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You're so nebulous sometimes
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
