She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm like, not good at living.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
