He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
