Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They took my balls.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
