Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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