I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
