i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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