I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
