so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
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He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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