I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
