I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
