oh god the rape fog is back!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
