I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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