the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
