he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize