does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
