yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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