Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize