Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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