after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
