Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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