Just fell off a train. Bad.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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