Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize