Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
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Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
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Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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