Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
