Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
