you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize