I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
