i jhust puked up my retainher.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
