did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
