I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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