My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
