So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
