i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We were destined to go to rehab together
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
