And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
