he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
