I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
