So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
