So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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