i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
