please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
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Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
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Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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