a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have aggressive nipples.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
