Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
