dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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