We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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