My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
