I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
