I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
